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Feeling Sorrow and Despair

June 21, 2019

Sorrow and despair can come from many different things. Some of the most common might be someone in your family passing away, your parents getting divorced, breaking up with your very first true love. I think at some point every adult knows the feeling of I cannot do this. I feel like I’m dying. My chest is so heavy, I feel so awful – so miserable. I do not know how I’m going to get past today. I’m just going to worry about today, one day at a time. What we do with those feelings is: you have to use up the sadness. You have to use up the grieving and you give yourself time. Depending on what it is, if it’s a breakup or if it’s a death, a death – it’s going to take a long, long time and it’s going to go up and down. Some days you’ll be fine. The next you’ll be super sad again and you just sort of have to sit back and watch your emotions process themselves. Don’t try to stop them. That’s the important part. Do not try to stop how sad you are. You have to keep functioning, but when you’re home or when you’re in the car, then it’s fine to cry and it’s fine to still talk about it with somebody else. If you are going through a breakup, then something similar is going to happen and what I recommend to do is set aside a couple hours every night – maybe not a couple, set aside one and a half – and say: okay, from 7:30-9:00, I’m going to sit and I’m going to talk about ex-boyfriend and I’m going to cry. This is the time I have to do it. Outside of that time I cannot talk about him. And then day after day you only have your hour and a half in the evening to talk about him, but you have to use the whole thing. You can’t stop early – that’s the trick. And after a couple of weeks, you will start to notice yourself being like, ah, screw it. I don’t want to sit here and cry anymore. I don’t want to sit here and be sad and talk about it anymore. And then you can stop. Otherwise, the sadness can sometimes take over your whole day. You’re in the bathroom crying at school when you should be sitting in class. That’s what I would recommend if you’re going through a breakup. If it’s something more severe, like I said, with somebody dying – you want to ask for help and just watch the emotions. Don’t try to stop them. Just keep going. After about six months, a year, a year and a half – it will start to get better.

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