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Relationship Anxiety – Is My Childhood to Blame?

June 21, 2019

Our relationship with our earliest caregivers – so mom and dad, but also extended family members, people who are really close to us in our childhood – impact our relationship behaviors in the future, and set the template for our relationships. Often, (but not always) relationship anxiety can be related to those early childhood attachments. So for example, if you had inconsistent caregiving then that may cause some level of relationship anxiety that persists later in your life even into adulthood – even if you’re not aware that that’s what’s going on and underlying feeling anxious. However, it’s not just your attachments, there are also other factors that impact whether you develop relationship anxiety. Some of those include your genetics, your predisposition towards having mental health problems because you have mental health problems in your family. And lastly: stressors. Stressors include stress at work, living in an unsafe environment that may create stress that you’re not even aware of, dealing with stressful relationships, having financial strains, etc. Those are kinds of things that are stressors that can also impact whether relationship anxiety is expressed. So although childhood attachments are very important and are key part of relationship anxiety, they’re not everything and the only thing.

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