Some couples have sex very frequently and some couples have sex very infrequently. And so it’s not the amount of sex that people have in general, that causes problems. It’s actually the balance between what one partner wants and what the other partner wants. So if one partner wants sex more often, and the other partner doesn’t want to have sex that often, then there tends to be a bit of a push-pull where one partner feels as though their physical needs are not being met. And the other partner may feel as though they’re being pressured or they’re not being valued for the other contributions to the relationship. And so if that creates enough tension in the relationship, that is a very good reason to reach out to your healthcare provider and to go in, to get some resources and some support. Now, when you go in to your healthcare provider to talk about sexual function, sexual dysfunction, or your sexual health relationship, it’s really important to go in with the understanding that you’re going to be asking that as your primary question.
So we know from survey information that most of the time, almost 80% of the time, it’s the patient who has to bring up the question of sexual health to their healthcare provider. So we know for one reason or another healthcare providers, don’t often ask very specific questions about health and sexual function, although maybe they should. We know that it is usually the responsibility of the patient to bring up that topic of conversation. We also know that it’s a very small proportion of the time that a patient will book specifically with that as the chief concern. So very often patients are going in the office for a wellness visit or another problem, and throwing in a question about sexual health, usually toward the end of a visit. And as with most things related to sex, it’s very complicated and it can be a very in-depth question and answer a very in-depth inquiry. And so I would encourage you as a patient who wants to talk with your healthcare provider about sexual health to book specifically for that problem to let the office know that that’s what you’re coming in about so that they can allot the appropriate amount of time and to come in with your questions written out on a piece of paper and just be willing to be completely honest and vulnerable with your healthcare provider so that you can get the resources and the support that you need and that you deserve.